The Meepy Sickies

I took a sick day today because I have this weird cough phlegm thing.  (Delightful and attractive, I agree).  Anyway, I stayed up for most of last night coughing, and I woke up today feeling exhausted.

The rational voice in the back of my head was like "Welp, you could probably battle through the day but get sicker as the week progresses.  Probably should stay home."  The irrational part of me was like, "IT'S THE FIRST SIGN OF THE FLU...BRONCHITIS...TUBERCULOSIS.  YOU WILL DIE ANY DAY NOW."  So I took today off.

I'm still in my pajamas, and I still feel fatigued and quite out of it.  It's probably due to being overly inert.  I read that somewhere, I think.  The human body only truly needs 6-8 hours of sleep, and when we get more than that, it's like the body says, "Well, time to evolve into a Snorlax."

It's science.  I swear it.

Since shaking myself from my Snorlax stupor, I've mostly been checking my remote work email, drinking tea, and generally feeling sorry for myself.  I like to call this state of mind the Meepy Sickies.

The condition of the Meepy Sickies is the the following combination:

Like I said, the physicality of a Snorlax

+

The general duress of a tail-less Eeyore

+

Feeling like you viewed this emotional devastation a thousand times

+

The speech pattern of Beaker

+

And this state of self-righteousness for your case of the Meepy Sickies

When I have the Meepy Sickies, my brain activity--which is normally/alarmingly operating at lightning speed in various thought trains and tangents--plummets.  Today, I don't want to think or do much of anything.  Yet, I'm terribly bored.  

Read?  Pshaw.  Listen to music?  Turn off that racket.  Clean?  Please be serious.  Do anything productive and worthwhile?  Check yourself; I am sick.  Just listen to my cough.

No.  All I want to do is watch The Walking Dead.

When I watch it in full health, I tend to start panicking that I'm not prepared whatsoever for the impending zombie apocalypse.  Yet, when I watch it when I'm sick and in the clutches of the Meepy Sickies, it makes me happy that the characters in the show are much worse off than me.

Schadenfreude: (ʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə) is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. 

Ex: When you watch The Walking Dead during the Meepy Sickies, you will experience schadenfreude as zombies aggressively nom one of the few remaining human's arms.

But guess what, my internet is being a big jerk and not letting me watch my show.  

Check my work email?  Look at puppy pictures?  Sure why not.  Let me watch my show and take my mind off the misery that is my cold?  Nope, no show for you.

I shake my fist at you, Verizon.  Curse you and your 3G network.

Now, I'm feeling especially sorry for myself.  And I am fully in the clutches of the Meepy Sickies:

1. My tea is cold because the microwave is too far away from my bed.
2. Why can't I watch my show?  Stupid Verizon.  Maybe it's time to show the love to COMCAST.
3. No one is responding to my text messages.  It's so selfish that they are working and doing normal people things and ignoring me, a very sick person, who is stuck here pitifully coughing.
4. I have no soup.  Here I am, about to die from tuberculosis, and I have no soup.
5. My pillows won't stay the way I arranged them.
6. Why did Winter finally decide to make an appearance?  No one likes you, Winter.  Go away.
7. I'm hungry.  I want a burrito.
8. I'm tired but can't sleep anymore.
9. Why did this cruel, cruel world create colds?
10. WHY CAN'T I WATCH MY SHOW??!!

As I regress from being an almost-adult to a toddler about to have a melt down, I thought I would write a blog post because that would at least be doing something quasi-productive.  Right?  Am I right?  Tell me that I'm right.

Well, hopefully I will be back to my normal mental state in the near future and that the Meepy Sickies will lie dormant once more.  If you are in the midst of your own Meepy Sickies, I feel and understand your pain.  I truly do.  Solidarity, my brother and/or sister.

If you're well and feeling cheerful, then I don't like you.  Well, I mostly don't like you, especially if you don't feel sorry for me...For right now at least.  Well, I'd like you if you brought me soup.

Or a burrito.